Navigating Assumptions in Relationships: Red Flags or Green Flags?
dating is already confusing enough, but add in all the assumptions we make and suddenly everything feels like a mind game we didn’t sign up for. in episode two of she’s probably talking to other guys, we talked about the way assumptions sneak into our conversations, our situationships, and literally every stage of getting to know someone.
and honestly? half the chaos comes from things we think we know — not things that are actually true.
1. assumptions: the silent troublemakers
i opened up about how easy it is to make assumptions without even realizing it. our brains love shortcuts, especially when it comes to dating, but those shortcuts can create entire storylines that don’t even exist.
i shared how i’ve been trying to get more aware of the narratives i create in my head and wow, the self-awareness can be shocking sometimes!
2. the classic dating assumptions we all make
we talked about the big ones — like assuming someone isn’t interested just because they don’t text back fast enough.
i gave the example of a time i didn’t text back because i was literally teaching, running around, working — life is happening! not everything is a rejection.
sometimes people are busy. sometimes people forget. sometimes they’re stressed. it’s rarely as deep as we make it.
3. ghosting: the assumption olympics
ghosting came up (obviously), because it’s practically a rite of passage at this point.
but i said what needs to be said:
ghosting doesn’t always mean someone didn’t like you.
sometimes it’s personal issues.
sometimes they’re overwhelmed.
sometimes they don’t know how to communicate.
sometimes they’re just…not ready.
and sometimes? ghosting ends up being a green flag in disguise because it saves you from someone who wouldn’t have shown up for you anyway.
4. does talking mean… a relationship?
i challenged the idea that “talking” automatically equals exclusivity.
that competitive energy people get when dating multiple people? no thank you. talking is just talking. connection takes time, clarity, and actual conversations — not assumptions about titles.
5. red flags vs green flags (and why some flip)
we got into red flags — jealousy, disrespecting boundaries, avoiding real conversations — but i also shared why some “red flags” might not be as dangerous as we think.
with clarity and communication, a lot of things become green flags. the issue is not the behavior itself — it’s the story we attach to it.
6. clarity over guessing games
if there’s one theme throughout this episode, it’s this:
ask. the. question.
stop assuming. stop filling in blanks. stop writing stories no one said out loud.
clarity will always feel better than making up scenarios in your head.
final thoughts
dating gets so much easier when you stop assuming the worst, give people grace for being human, and actually communicate instead of guessing. your peace is worth more than being “right” about a storyline you created.
some red flags disappear with context. some green flags show up once you get clarity. and a lot of misunderstandings vanish when you stop letting assumptions run the show.
key takeaways and reflections:
assumptions create unnecessary chaos
slow texting doesn’t mean someone is uninterested
ghosting isn’t always personal (and sometimes it’s a blessing)
talking ≠ a relationship
clarity could be the shortcut to solid connections
communication > guessing